


the beach episode

by yourethelmaandimlouise



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 10x15, 10x15 coda, Anyways, Coda, Crack, EMERGENCY SAUNAS, Fluff, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Pining, SAM X LAPTOP, SO, Slow Burn, also, because i am destiel trash, but not really???, but the main pairing will be dean/cas, heh, idk man there ya go, it will only get crackier, kind of a, unnecessary shirtlessness, unnecessary slathering on of sun tan lotion, very cracky
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-20 15:59:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3656352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourethelmaandimlouise/pseuds/yourethelmaandimlouise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sammy and Deanie finally go to the beach. Steaminess ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sing Me the Song of my People (aka CAKE VS PIE / DEAN IS BI)

We open on Sam and Dean in the Impala (BIG SURPRISE) driving down the pacific coast. Dean turns down the radio and with a content sigh, glances to his right and says, “Sammy, we have finally arrived. No more Podunk middle o’ nowhere America for us. We hit the jackpot with this case. Beach babes as far as the eye can see.”

“Dean, four people have died.”

“Sammy. Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. Sammy, Sa-“

“Dean, you know they’re probably only gonna offer organic shit at this place, right? No pies, no burgers, no greasy—SHIT!”

The Impala—Baby, as Dean likes to call her—almost takes a nosedive right into the glistening California waves. 

“What the hell, Dean?!”

Recovering from the shock of Sam’s previous statement, Dean, still uncharacteristically silent, pulls onto the side of the road.

“Dean, please no.” Sam says, turning bitchface #5 (the ‘you almost killed us AGAIN you idiot’) into almost fully-fledged puppy eyes as fast as a really really fast thing. “Dean, please. Dean, we’ve had five BMs since this morning. I can’t handl-“

“Bowel movements?”

“No. Don’t you remember Fan Fiction 10x05? Boy melodrama.” 

“Oh right,” Dean smiles with a faraway look in his eye, “‘it burned my mother and it cursed my brother,’” he sings.

“Oh my god.”

Sam carefully unfolds his gigantic body from inside the Impala and slams the door behind him in a huff. After grabbing a couple of beers from the cooler in the back, Dean climbs out after him. 

“Dean, I understand that you’re doing this new whole ‘say yes to life! Improve your life and your relationships!’ thing and I totally support you. I do. But the fact is this trip has taken us two days.”

“Are you seriously complaining about how much time we’ve spent on the road? Because Sam, I hate to break it to you but that is at least half of what we do. What we’ve been doing for sixty years.”

“Sixty years? You’re still in your thirties.”

Dean gets a slightly constipated face as he tries to count backwards from 2015. Sam can tell when he hits the Hell years and pulls off a stunning mixture of bitchfaces #3 (the ‘I acknowledge your pain’) and #8 (the ‘how have you stayed alive for this long oh right you haven’t’) and says, “Spending time on the road is not my problem Dean. My problem is that we could’ve made this drive in fifteen hours. And that’s going the speed limit.”

“Fine. Whatever. We’ll make this the last BM stop. I just need you to answer one question.”

Dean stares at Sam. Sam stares at Dean. Dean stares at Sam some more. Sam starts taking deep breaths and counting down from ten.

“Will there at least be cake there? You know how I feel about cake.”

Sam can’t even make it to five.


	2. Shirts are for Loozers (and Winchesters, apparently)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laptop was always Sam's favorite Winchester anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary taken from this comic series which is ONE OF THE BEST THINGS TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME CHECK IT OUT IT IS SO MUCH BETTER AND FUNNIER THAN THE SHIT I WRITE OK HERE YA GO: http://lordwhat.tumblr.com/tagged/S&TH. Eat, click, and be merry, dear readers.

Dean is still grumbling about cake and, for some odd reason, bees when they finally pull up to the motel they’re staying at. It’s still a dump but overall much nicer than the places they usually sleep in. It’s right on the beachside and Sammy just can’t wait for this hunt to be over so he can drink at least five large kale smoothies and work on his tan on the golden Cali beaches. People still say Cali, right? A Beach Boys soundtrack starts playing in his head and he’s still daydreaming about Kokomo or whatever the fuck when Dean comes back with the room keys and a dreamy twinkle in his eye. 

Sam abruptly snaps out of his Beach Boys induced haze. Sam is worried. Sam knows what that twinkle means. That twinkle means awkward seas ahead for poor old Sammy. Dean leans in through the open window on the driver’s side to pass the key to Sam. Sam just stares back.

“Dean.”

“Yeah, Sam?”

“Uh…Um…”

“Spit it out Sam, we ain’t got all day.”

“No, no it’s nothing. Heh.”

Dean fixes him with a stare, but then seems to think better of it and rolls his eyes as he tosses him the key. “Alrighty, weirdo. I’ll see you inside then.”

Sam finally gets out of the car and begins to pace back and forth. He can’t deal with the weirdly intense sexual tension that seems to follow Dean around like a guardian angel. God. Dean has already met someone he’s gonna be awkward around and dammit Sam should have been expecting it but no it’s blindsided him once again he has got to come up with some kind of plan to-

“SAMMY!”

Sam turns around slowly and squints at the person that so rudely interrupted his burgeoning panic attack.

“Cole???”

“Didn’t expect to see you and Deano ‘round these parts. He said you might be out here.”

“Welp. That explains it.”

“Um, what explains what, now?”

“How miserable this trip is going to be for me. The beach, Cole. We’re finally at the beach and now I have to deal with this shit.”

“… Sam, I gotta be honest. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“And I have no idea why you’re not wearing a shirt, Cole, but we don’t always get all the answers we want in life, do we?”

Sam turns around with a long suffering sigh and a dramatic hair flip. He dutifully heads inside to tease Dean about his previously unexplained heart eyes, grumbling about UST and just how right Becky was, damn her.


	3. Real Smooth, Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dean bean is an awkward bunny and we love him so. prepare yourself for embarrassing UST ahead!

Sam is such a weirdo, Dean thinks. Sam and all his “health” and “hair,” Dean makes air quotes with his fingers. He notices a woman in the hotel lobby give him an odd look and he winks at her. He doesn’t know why he winks at her. Maybe it’s an odd twitch he’s developed whenever an attractive woman looks his way. It would explain all the oddly timed winks in his past. Dean makes faces as he mocks Sam in his head, _“Dean, that’s so inappropriate!” “Dean, we’re at a crime scene!” “Dean, there’s a dead body like two feet from us!”_

“Ahem. Sir, how can I help you today?”

“Uh, yeah. Can I get a double? Probably be stayin’ here the week.” He passes over his credit card.

“No problem, here are your room cards. Please let anyone on staff know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks, man. Will do.”

As Dean walks back across the lobby to find his brother, he makes eye contact with a man. Or, rather, he makes eye to nipple contact with a man who is not wearing a shirt. Nice. Cali is already working out great for him. Cali? Who the fuck says Cali anymore. Must have picked it up from his hippie brother and not only—

“Deano!” the nipples say. No, not nipples, some dude. Dean’s eyes travel up his torso, along his neck, and finally they meet some real nice blue eyes. He's always had a soft spot for a nice pair of blue eyes. Immediately a spark of recognition passes through Dean, making him all tingly in his bathing suit areas.

“Cole! Man, is it good to see you!”

He leans in for a hug that lasts a tad too long. When Dean finally pulls away he asks, “So, what are you doing ‘round these parts?”

“Well, I reckon it’s about the same reason you and your gigantor brother are here.”

“Dude. I thought we told you to get out of this life.”

“I don’t need the speech, Dean. I know what I’m good at and I already dedicated my life to fighting on the front lines. These are just a different type of special ops.”

They stare at each other for a moment. Dean’s arms are crossed, his jaw is clenched, and his eyes are sharp. He must see something he likes because all of a sudden the doofy look is back and he says, “Well then, seems like we’ll be working together on this one.”

Cole relaxes too and says, “Seems so. Look, I gotta get going, follow my own leads. Let me know if you guys get something.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Cole turns around and starts walking the other way. Dean, with a twinkle in his eye murmurs, “Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go.”

Cole turns on his heel, “What was that?”

“Uh, sate to absentee, above blue scotch, you know?”

Cole gives him a blank stare.

Dean gives a frantic little shrug and a grin, “Blue scotch, you gotta try it! Gotta go bye!”

Dean scurries on out to meet his brother in the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lemme know what you think in the comments. i live for Validation(tm)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this post on tumblr and elizabethrobertajones' amazing mind http://yourethelmaandimlouise.tumblr.com/post/114088426892/in-the-wake-of-the-recent-episode-9x06-became.
> 
> More soon to come!


End file.
